


Babysitter

by ladywongs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul:re
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 16:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9132016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywongs/pseuds/ladywongs
Summary: Being a nanny isn't an easy task, especially if Touka have to deal with three fretful little brothers: Haise, a kid who promises her eternal love. Kaneki, a veggie hidden behind his books and Shironeki, the rebel demon. Could Touka be able to fulfill her job and get out unscathed? (re-uploaded). One-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago when my english skills were terrible, so now that I've improved a lot I decided to re-write it again, because I really like the idea and this one-shot takes a special place in my heart. This would be officially my last touken fanfic from 2016!
> 
> Happy New Year!

**—o—**

 

There was only one reason for which Touka Kirishima got herself trapped into such unknown journey: she needed the fucking money.

When Mrs. Akira showed up at her front door that same morning with a kind smile and a strawberry cake between her hands, Touka knew the gods, the stars or even that rabbit keychain the used to wear in times of despair to bring the good fortune had finally listened to her prayers. During long weeks her feet walked through all Tokyo hoping to find a miserable job that could miraculously provide her enough money to pay her college tuition. The bastard was quite expensive and Touka’s only wish was to study, something as simple as that. The coffee shops around the city stubbornly refused to hire her despite her skills to prepare delicious cappuccinos—an ability she learned from her dearest grandpa, Yoshimura—supermarkets didn’t seem happy at the possibility to add more personal to their stores and Touka came to the conclusion that this would be the end of her college career, until Mrs. Akira appeared like a savior angel right at her door.

“I just wanted to ask you if you could take care of my kids for one night, I know you did it before with Mrs. Fueguchi. I’d pay you very well.”

Touka smiled brightly and accepted the offer with no preamble, just as the strawberry cake. Mrs. Akira lived around the same neighborhood and Touka knew she was raising three kids all by herself, they were only eight years old, they were triplets, and Touka had a lot of experience with children. Occasionally she used to stay with little Hinami, the daughter of Mrs. Fueguchi, who was also her mom’s friend. Hinami was a small little princess who used to draw things for her every time they met up.

But Touka cursed the day she thought those three little kids would be similar to the beautiful Hinami.

Mrs. Akira left the house with a blissful smile and spreading a bunch of orders here and there. They would eat at eight. Nine o’clock they’d be in bed and they were forbidden to eat any kind of candies, it would be bad for their cavities, she said. Oh, and they had to brush their teeth at least twice after dinner. Easy.

The kids were sitting on the staircase when Akira officially introduced them to Touka. They were triplets and shared the same age, but Akira pointed out that they didn’t like the idea of having equal ages, so she made things very clear. The oldest one was Haise, with his Harry Potter glasses that made him look like a mad scientist and his weird sesame-pudding hairstyle. When he told me he wanted to dye his roots I just couldn’t say no, look how cute he looks! Mrs. Akira said. The next one was Shironeki, with his silver hair and wearing black nail polish; Mrs. Akira said he liked to paint them. The last but not least was Kaneki, which unlike his brothers, looked pretty normal to her. Black hair and rosy-cheeked. Touka smiled tenderly at the sight of him, he looked very shy.

But appearances were misleading. When Mrs. Akira left the house, leaving her alone with her three little sunshine’s, Touka smiled with excitement, ready to start her nanny’s job.

“Okay then! This will be fun. How about if we get to know each other a little bit first?” she asked.

Haise raised his hand up in the air.

“Can I say something first?” he inquired, very serious.

Touka shrugged, curiosity dancing in her eyes.

“Sure.”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Toula almost choked with her tongue. She blinked a couple times, giggling.

“Uh, I think you’re too young for that, don’t you think?”

Haise blurted out a deep sigh, nodding, and took off his glasses to rub his eyes with his little fingers.

“You’re right,” Haise admitted, sighing with the bitterness of an adult. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”

Touka’s lips parted with the intention to speak, but the other kid, Shironeki, disrupted the conversation with a small whine.

“I’m bored,” he protested. “I hope at least you are funnier than the others.”

“T-The others?”

Shironeki nodded repeatedly.

“Yeah, the other nannies. Roma, Eto, Kimi… they all quitted, I hope you have something better in mind because I get bored very easily. I want to draw.”

The boy spoke so fast that Touka had to make a pause to actually process everything he had say. Nannies? Had they other nannies before her? Why did they quit? Touka didn’t know the answer, but little by little she started to imagine it. The mischievous glance of that kid, Shironeki, was making her guts twist.

“S-Sure, let’s draw.”

The kids went to the living room and Shironeki took the acrylics from the basement. In silence, Haise and Shironeki sat around the table to dedicate their absolute attention to their drawings, but the youngest of the brothers, Kaneki, found his place on the couch to read a book in silence. Touka felt sorry for him, so lonely and quiet he looked, so she approached with the intention to start some kind of childish conversation while his brothers painted over the table.

“Hey,” she said, smiling softly. “What are you reading?”

Kaneki flickered, flustered.

“T-The Little Prince,” he said, unsure.

“I like that book. Do you like reading?”

Slowly the kid started to feel comfortable; he seemed to like talking about books. He nodded, sliding the book on his lap and giving her a bright smile.

“Yes…”

Haise suddenly appeared with crooked glasses and filthy hands. He extended his arms to her, holding a paper in his hands, it seemed as if he had drawn something for her. Touka smiled at him, vaguely remember Hinami’s drawings. “I made this for you,” he said, solemn.

Touka took the paper, unfolding it.

First, there was a girl whom Touka knew it was her, with her short and purple hair falling on top of her shoulders, ready to kiss a little boy with glasses while holding his hand against her heart.

_I wrote this poem for you:_

_Come, my faux juggernaut,_  
_my nefarious loins!_  
_Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!_

 _PS: I think I’ve never had such a beautiful person in my life before._  
_I know I’m only eight but if you wait for me I swear to you that I’ll grow up._

The girl swallowed, putting on a flustered smile. What the hell was she supposed to say? She gave him a quick glance, arching both brows by the way he was staring at her, eyes wide open and a psychotic smile placed on his lips, readjusting his glasses as if he was waiting for her to give him a cookie reward, or a kiss.

“Uhh, this is very pretty, Haise… I-I’ll keep it.”

“Look, look! I’m a bloody monster!”

Shironeki joined them with a face covered by red paint, staining all of his shirt and hands and shoulders and… shit. She sighed, wrinkling her face in disapproval. “Come on, let’s go wash your fa – ah!”

Touka yelled at the sound of Shironeki’s energetic giggle when the kid smudged her favorite shirt with more red paint. What the fuck? It was her favorite shirt! The most expensive she had! She could feel Shironeki’s hands traveling through her belly, the sticky and cold substance getting inside the fabric, staining the skin of her belly. In a situation like this one, when she was supposed to be the fucking nanny, Touka decided to take matters into her own hands, but Haise interrupted the situation by clenching his fists, ushering his angry gaze at his brother.

“How dare you to hurt Touka like that!” he screamed, extremely angry.

Haise approached the table and took some green paint from the jars and smashed his hands against Shironeki’s face, spreading the paint all over his cheeks.

Shironeki gave him a smile, giggling like a little demon. “Paint war!” he screamed back, running to the table to grab more paint and throwing it against his brothers, splashes of painting flying all over the living room. In a blink of an eye, Haise looked even dirtier than Shironeki, and Touka swore that his hair was not silver anymore, it was completely green. She tried to stop them, she really did, but it was impossible. Haise took the situation very seriously, stubbornly convinced to defend Touka’s honor from “anyone who tries to hurt her” or at least that’s what she heard coming out from his mouth. Shironeki ignored every single one of his brother’s threats and continued to throw more chaos into the scene, making Touka go even crazier. Kaneki got scared and found refuge behind the couch, protecting his body from the paintballs that crashed all over the place.

“Stop! I said stop it! Dammit, hey!”

Touka didn’t know how she managed to stop that madness, but she did. Angry as hell, Touka took the boys to the bathroom to clean all the mess they made and replace their ruined clothes with clean ones, then, she prepared something for them to eat and forced them to sit in front of the TV to watch something, an attempt to keep them still for a while. When Touka finally found time to rest on the couch for a couple minutes, Kaneki appeared with something in his hands.

It was an origami flower.

“For you,” he muttered, looking at his feet and holding the flower with his fingertips.

She smiled, accepting the gift.

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you,” the flower was really cute. “Thank you, Kaneki, I’ll put it on my desk.”

Kaneki smiled at her and she knew he was her favorite one from the three brothers. Nevertheless, unlike Kaneki and Haise who were particularly easy to deal with, Shironeki wasn’t able to remain still not even for a minute. She’d hear the way he cracked his fingers over and over again, looking around with dull eyes. He flicked his tongue, sat on his chair, got up, sat down back again, hummed a song… that kid was uncontrollable.

“Honey, could you just—“

“I’m bored.”

“Why don’t you watch some T—“

“How old are you?” he asked, tilting his face to one side with curiosity.

“Nin—“

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“N-Not reall—“

“I can be her boyfriend,” Haise suggested, slowly raising his hand, and slowly bringing it down back again, staring at their brother's expressions.

Touka let out a sigh, closing her eyes. What the hell she could do to keep them quiet for a few hours? She checked out the hour, it was 7:00 PM, it would be better if she started to prepare dinner so they could eat and go to sleep early. “I’ll make dinner.”

However, Kaneki followed her suit whilst carrying his book against his chest, it seemed that he didn’t enjoy to be around his crazy brothers all the time. While Touka prepared the stew he stood up by her side, talking about his favorite books, so polite and gentle, confessing her that he wanted to become a great novelist in the future. Touka smiled, that kid was extremely sweet, and she felt curiosity.

“Wow, that’s great, Kaneki. Do you have any story planned so far?”

He nodded with excitement, a tiny spark shimmering within his dark eyes.

“I do! It’s going to be my first book,” he added. “It’s about a boy named Ryu who’s suffering from bullying, he tries to tell his mom about it but nobody ever listens to him. So he takes a knife from his dad’s basement and stabs all of his classmates including his teacher because she never defended him from the bullies before. He burns down the school with all of them inside and moves out to Kyoto to fall in love with a Geisha, but she cheats on him with a businessman so Ryu falls into a deep depression and commits suicide by hanging out on a tree in the park. I’ll dedicate you the book if you want!”

Touka stared at hem, flabbergasted. What the fuck?

A whooshing sound made Touka jump out of her place, hearing a metal song being played in the background. Who the hell turned on the music player? Along with Kaneki, both left the kitchen way to the living room and Touka screamed loudly when she spotted Shironeki dancing onto the table, crashing dishes into the soil. Haise looked furious, holding his glasses in his hands. They were broken in half.

“You broke my glasses, you cumguzzling thundercunt!” he yelled.

“Hey!” Touka screamed at Shironeki. “Get off from the table right now!”

He didn’t listen to her, continuously dancing at the metal song sounding on the radio and holding a dish between his hands. It was definitely the most insufferable kid she had ever known.

“If you don’t get down from the table I swear I will—“

“Ah!” Kaneki screamed, covering his ears.

The dish fell down into the soil with a loud crash and Touka knew she had enough. They weren’t her children, they were nothing of her, but she would make sure to teach that stupid gothic kid a freaking lesson.

“I WILL KILL YOU!”

Shironeki looked pleased with the threat, maybe thinking that all of this was some sort of game. He went down from the table and started to run all over the place while Touka was chasing him, furious as hell, her bad temper ripping her chest apart like a scary monster. Haise ran beside her, lifting his hands in the air.

“Don’t worry Touka! I’ll defend you!” he shouted. “Come here, you grubby assbutt!”

She didn’t knew for how long she chased that demon all over the house, yelling all kind of rude words who contained a large amount of “if you don’t come here immediately the coco will haunt you and eat you, you little piece of shit!” and a couple of “come to brush your teeth, goddammit!” that didn’t make any change because Shironeki never stopped running and Touka’s legs were about to faint. Kaneki followed her everywhere, terrified.

“Will you add salt and onions to the stew?” He stammered, extremely worried. “C-Cause I think I’m allergic to salt and onions! Once my skin got so bad that Haise said I looked red as a centipede! I can’t go to school tomorrow if I eat salt and onions!”

She was breathless.

“Kaneki!”

“You won’t put salt and onions, right?! B-Besides, I’m a vegan! I only eat fish Mondays and Saturdays because mom says I—“

Kaneki stopped his sentence once they got into Shironeki’s room and a green blanket suddenly fell against her head, covering all of her body. Not being able to see and stepping over the toys scattered around the floor, she stumbled and crashed to the ground, feeling a tiny body getting on top of her and smacking her back with tons of pillows.

“Die, die, evil dragon! I’ll make justice in this world!”

“Let the princess go, one-eyed demon!” that was Haise.

“S-Stop it! You’re choking her! T-Touka!” Kaneki seemed to be the only kid worried about her health. “Hold on!”

Touka tried to get rid of the blanket but nothing seemed to work, that brat had the strength of a lion and Haise was way too busy trying to strike his brother instead of actually save her. It was after a few minutes when Touka managed to take off the blanket and Kaneki appeared carrying a fire extinguisher in his hands. Where the hell…?

She trembled, eyes going wide.

“K-Kaneki! No!” she screamed, her heart throbbing so fast like the wings of a hummingbird.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I’ll save you!”

A blast of a white substance covered them all. They screamed and during long minutes Touka didn’t quite understand what just happened. She fell backward, her body engulfed by something chilly and sticky that got between her clothes, her hair, and even her mouth. She coughed and flickered slowly, moaning in frustration. The room was soaked with water spray just like the kids, too shocked to process the situation. If Shironeki’s hair wasn’t silver enough, the content from the extinguisher made him look like a real snowman. He coughed, sitting up, and shrieked with euphoria, his giggles breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Woho! That was awesome! Let’s do it again!”

Kaneki swallowed, guilty features looking at the mess he just did and Touka knew that this was the end of her job. Goodbye to the money, goodbye to the possibility to afford a good education in a good college, Mrs. Akira was going to kill her after proving to be a terrible nanny. She sank into the blankets and moaned, closing her eyes, but Haise’s voice took her by surprise.

“You want me to give you mouth-to-mouth breathing?” he asked.

Touka let out a sigh, clattering her teeth, the fire of anger traveling through her veins.

“Have you ever eaten children with mashed potatoes?”

Shironeki was the only one who got the hint right away before his brothers. But for him, everything was a joke.

“Oh, crap! She got mad! Run!”

The three demons got up from the ground to leave the room, and Touka knew she had reached her peak.

“Because I’m going to make myself a feast with all of you, fucking brats!”

Note to self: Do never accept a nanny job ever again.


End file.
